Love is Enough

Me without school

Me without school is a scary, scary situation. During the school year, I balance classes, volunteering, work and relationships. Balancing all those plates keeps me nice and busy, which consequently maintains my sanity. But during the summer, oh boy, there is nothing ( obviously there are things to be done, but not nearly enough things, and not nearly enough interesting things) to do. 

Almost all my friends (and I mean literally almost all- I have

one friend here all summer, two more coming back and forth) have left as most were in fourth year and are graduating in June like me. Once classes were over the campus, and my social life, became a deserted ghost town. 

I’ve tried to find a full-time job, and because I had a job that fell through so late this spring, I missed the majority of summer job opportunities, so I had to settle for finding part-time work. I’ve applied to about 20 places where I actually have relevant experience, but very few call-backs, and everyone who did couldn’t give me as many hours as they advertised. If you’re promoting a job as 20 hours a week, don’t say you can’t give me more than 9, that is not the same (and not at all financially feasible). 

So yesterday was my first day without a whole lot to do. I was all alone from 8am till work at 4, and it was torture. I just felt so alone, so directionless. There was nothing to work towards, no deadlines approaching, no readings to be done. 

But today, I’ve decided, things will be different. I slept in till 9 (when you wake up at 6 every day, 9am is like 3 in the afternoon), bakes myself some muffins for breakfast, and just did things that made me feel good all day. 

I’ve squeezed more hours out of my part-time job, but I really don’t know what to do. I need more hours, not so much financially (though they wouldn’t hurt at all), but for my mental health. 

For now, my goal is to enjoy each day. To look at each day as a gift, something didn’t have yesterday, something other people pray for. I will aim to do one thing new each day, one thing that makes me feel good, or helps me overcome something, or helps others. 

And LOTS of baking.